Relationships

So, now that the new year has begin, are you considering how to develop, deepen or even repair some of your relationships with friends, family and loved ones? If you are, what are some of the things you are doing? Christians are called to love to offer mercy and forgiveness and to even offer love to those who are enemies, who are trying to take you away from your relationship with Jesus Christ. How sad it is when Christians sit in judgment of other Christians. How sad it is when true reconciliation is not possible because of anger, bitterness and criticism that has infected so many of our relationships. But God has not given up on us. He so loved the world that he sent his son into the world, not to condemn it but that we might have life. Living in the Spirit, living in the abundant life of our Lord Jesus Christ, is possible even in the midst of crises and painful situations. All it takes is one person. When one person stands up and decides to live in the Spirit, then God can and will work in the relationship. There is real healing possible when even one person seeks to live in the freedom of the sons of God.

There is so much hate in the world, even among people who are so-called Christians. There is so much pain the world because of unhealthy relationships or a holding on to anger and bitterness. Jesus will take the pain away, and he will transform the pain into suffering. Suffering is redemptive whereas pain cuts off the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Living the Five Love Languages is only the beginning to a healing of all your relationships. There is more work that needs to be done, but once you begin living the love languages, then the Holy Spirit will become a part of that relationship and he will bless it with his gifts and fruits.

As we begin this new year, let us put aside all our anger and bitterness and offer true forgiveness and reconciliation to those who have hurt us. Be free of the bodily and spiritual chains that keep you away from God and live in the freedom of the children of God.

Happy New Year

2010!! It is hard to believe that yet another year has passed. And, as this feast day is a holy day of obligation honoring the motherhood of Mary, I have been reflecting on how appropriate it is to have a holy day honoring Mary, the Mother of God to begin a new year. It is Mary who has brought and continues to bring many people to her Son, Jesus Christ, and this year is one that offers many difficulties and surprises and even joys. We turn to our Blessed Mother with the sure and certain hope that you receive blessings upon blessings this new year. Turn to her and lay your burdens at her feet. She will bring them to her Son.

The new year is also a good time to re-evaluate our prayer lives. One way you can experience a deepening prayer life is by praying a daily rosary, if you don't already. The rosary is a powerful weapon in the hands of Catholics in order to combat the evils of our society today. It is also a prayer that can deepen your own relationship with your spouse, especially when you pray the rosary together.

May 2010 bring you joy and peace, and may our Blessed Mother, Mary, continue to bring you and your relationships the peace and joy of true intimacy.

Christmas

Merry Christmas!! As we celebrate the coming of God as man, it is a good time for us to re-evaluate our own relationships with family and friends. We have been discussing intimacy, and at Christmas time, we have many opportunities to share intimate moments with those we love, especially our children. Christmas is a time when you are called to explain the true meaning of Christmas to your children. Being with family brings with it a special kind of joy and peace, but it really shines through when the mother and father have really shared with each other a depth of true intimacy as well, which will carry over to your family.

But at Christmas, with a society that has been decimated with the breakdown of the traditional family, you may find it difficult to really share that peace of Christ. St Joseph also found it difficult on the first Christmas two thousand years ago. He traveled with his wife over some rough terrain to bring her to Bethlehem for a census, and yet when he arrived at his home town, his own family and friends turned him away, which led him to find shelter in a cave, where his wife, having given birth to the Savior, laid him in a manger. The Blessed Mother, who always brings us to her Son, Jesus Christ, presented her Son to the waiting world by placing him in the very place that animals feed. Our Blessed Mother still points the way to the Eucharist as she places her Son in our midst at every celebration of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

May you have a Blessed and Joyous Christmas, and may the peace of Christ be with you and your family.

It's a Wonderful Life

It's that time of year. The classic Christmas movie, Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life, has so much to offer the whole family. Interestingly, the movie did not do well when it first premiered in 1946, but over the years it has endured and endeared many to the timelessness of the themes of family and sacrifice. To watch George Bailey sacrifice his dreams and remain in Bedford Falls, raising a family will bring tears to your eyes. Frank Capra brilliantly portrays small town life and the scraping by of an existence, but the true nature of what transpires overcomes the dull, dreary small town life.

For it is the belief, the very Catholic belief, that each and every life has meaning and that you are created for a purpose. It took George Bailey a financial crisis in his Savings and Loan to find that the answer to all his dreams was not building skyscrapers and bridges, living in the fancy cities. No, the answer to his dreams was always right beside him, Mary Hatch Bailey, and their four adorable children.

Imagine if you had never been born. You may not even be aware of all the good you have done just by your existence, and what you may think are inconsequential actions. Now think how different this world would be if fifty million babies since 1973 were born. It boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Intimacy

Matthew Kelly has written a book called The Seven Levels of Intimacy. He explains that in every relationship, there are various ways for you to share intimacy with one another, some healthy and some not so healthy. Ultimately, every relationship is about loving another person and your wanting to be loved in return. yet, there are many times that we try and hide from others, usually out of fear, which is a fear that the other person will reject you, and this rejection is a very powerful means for you to avoid intimacy at any level.

We begin with Matthew Kelly's first three levels of intimacy, cliches, facts, and opinions. These levels can be used to begin a relationship, one that has potential to deepen into something pretty wonderful. But the danger with these levels is that you may decide to use these levels to avoid any real intimacy with another person.

Christ the King

We celebrate the kingship of Jesus Christ in this last Sunday of the liturgical year. What does it mean that Jesus Christ is King? The short answer is that his kingship means that he is the ruler over your life. But, when you acknowledge his kingship, it is not so that he rules you as a tyrant. His kingship is not solitary. No. He has made you a king as well for you to share in his royal kingship. When you were baptized, you were baptized as priest, prophet and king. You are called to exercise your kingship along with Jesus.

But just as a kingdom divided against itself cannot stand, you will not be able to remain in Jesus if you are not in agreement with him on how to rule your life. Basically, it comes down on how you rule your passions and emotions, and how you rule a life of virtue.

We have been discussing marriage for the last few weeks and now we are beginning a series on intimacy. What is it that you want most in your life? If you are like most people, you probably want to be loved. And being loved will go hand in hand with showing love. This is where intimacy comes in. It is a sharing of your life, of your hopes and dreans, of your fears and failings, with another person and allowing that person to share their hopes and dreams, their faults and fears and failings with you. When we then bring Jesus' kingship into our relationships, we will be able to share that intimacy that brings life, that brings an abundant life, to the person we are with. Abundant life will come through a true sharing of one's life with another, through love and mercy and forgiveness. It is the end result of living the fruits of the Holy Spirit: gentleness, kindness, peace, modesty, self-control, generosity, love and chastity.

Marriage III

One of the hardest things in a marriage is when one spouse decides to practice the faith while the other spouse is more lukewarm. The spiritual component is important for a marriage, and when one spouse is infrequent in the practice of the faith, it might cause tension with the other spouse as well as with the children. But, if you find yourself with someone who does not attend Mass with you, or attends Mass only infrequently, bring them to prayer.

No one has a conversion experience because they were hit over the head or the recipient of anger. If you truly want your spouse to pray with you and attend Mass with you, and you want your kids to experience the joy of our Catholic faith, bring joy into your discussion with your spouse.

Think about it, if you are constantly arguing and yelling and criticizing your spouse for not going to Mass, and you leave the house with the children in a fit of anger, are you truly modeling Christian behavior? How are they going to associate the attendance of Mass? A child would much rather be with the parent who takes them our to eat on a Sunday morning or go to a football game than the one who forces them to go to Mass while angry.

Prayer, fasting and the daily rosary are a good way to ask Heaven for help in opening up your spouse's heart to the joys of our Catholic faith and the joy of receiving our Lord in the Holy Eucharist on a weekly, if not daily, basis.